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FEAR OF REJECTION


FEAR OF REJECTION

Whether we want to admit it or not, we have all been rejected or experienced rejection to some degree. We were born sinners and separated from God. Therefore, we were born with a sense of separation, abandonment, and rejection. The great thing is – we can be born again ACCEPTED through Jesus Christ.

“May blessing be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ Who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm! Even as He chose us (actually picked us out for Himself as His own) in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love. For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will. To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.” – Ephesians 1:3-6

We can be accepted in the Beloved. We can ACCEPT God and God can ACCEPT us.

I grew up with a sense of abandonment and rejection. As a child, my dad wasn’t around much and he had a hard time showing his love for us. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t spend much time with us and I felt rejected. It wasn’t that he didn’t love us; he just didn’t know how to show it. I looked for that love and acceptance from other people. My senior year of high school, I got pregnant out of wedlock and my husband and I had our first child together. I went from being the head cheerleader, basketball, volleyball, and track star to being the “scum” of the high school. I was rejected. I was looked down upon. I would hear people talk about me and find degrading cards/letters in my locker. It was very hurtful and one of the hardest years of my life!

I carried that rejection into my marriage without even knowing it. You see, people that struggle with rejection will have defense mechanisms. They will be manipulative. Many who suffer from rejection issues often seem the most confident. They appear that way so people won’t reject them. People who struggle with rejection often have a problem with pride and arrogance, insecurity and inferiority at the same time. When you try to correct them or speak truth into their life, they feel that you are rejecting them so they will fight back and chew you out. They will reject you before you have a chance to reject them. In the early years of our marriage, when my husband and I would fight, I would reject him first before he could reject me. I had no idea that I was carrying those issues into my relationships and putting up walls so that no one would hurt me again. It was a defense mechanism.